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If Microsoft Made Cars

There was a purported story about Bill Gates making a speach at COMDEX several years ago (that turns out to have been an urban legend) in which he supposedly stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon" and then GM supposedly responded with a list of "If GM built cars like Microsoft..." statements.

Apparently, that exchange never happened, but guess what, Microsoft is working with Fiat to fashion a system that will feature Windows Automotive software. So I guess we could be using a "Start" button to both start and stop our cars in the future. I wonder if we'll be able to change the car's appearance depending on who's driving and/or the mood you're in?

Had To Be There

We're sitting at the dinner table tonight and here is the gist of a conversation I had with my 7 year old:

MJ: We found a cat today! She played with us almost all day. The girls next door even gave her some milk in a saucer.
Dad: Oh really?
MJ: Yup, we named her "Lord Green Eyes".
Dad: Oh, really? "Lord" usually implies a male, shouldn't it be "Lady Green Eyes"? Besides, what makes you think it's a her?
MJ: I just know, but I think she's sick.
Dad: That's too bad, what's wrong?
MJ: She has some bumps on her tummy. They're swollen pretty big.
Dad: (*snort* - me trying to keep a straight face) Where are they at?
MJ: Right between her back legs. They are really swollen...
Dad: (Loses all control and is having a hard time not laughing out loud while Mommy begins explaining that males have "testicles".)

Ever notice how something mildly funny becomes really funny when you are trying not to laugh? No, I guess you had to be there.

Loo With A View

Are you feeling like a bit of an exhibitionist? Would you use this restroom?

Bad Dad

So, I'm trying to create a memorable father/daughter experience with my oldest (just shy of 10) girl. I decide to take her to the movies. It is relativly infrequent that we go because it is hard to find movies that I feel that are suitable for my kids.

Here's the bad part, I really enjoy going to the movies. I enjoy many different genres, styles, and mental levels, but have denied myself the pleasure of seeing movies mainly because I choose to do other things with my family.

Okay, so I look at what's playing at our local theater and discover that there is basically a bunch of PG & PG-13 movies. Now I am conflicted. I'm trying to find a movie that we will both enjoy. I really want to see Spider-Man 2, but I am not sure CJ is up for it. So, instead of asking, I do research. I turn to The Movie Mom website for some usually decent movie reviews and evaluations. Movie Mom says that SM2 audience is 11 and up. Since CJ is almost 10 and 10 is almost 11 and I've always thought she was mature for her age and I really wanted to see the movie and there's not much else to see, I decided to risk it. (So, technically, I could have seen "A Cinderella Story", but remember the "both enjoy" clause...)

We get about 40 minutes into the movie, the part where Doctor Octavius is in the operating room and the arms go freaky...and, well, so does CJ. We beat feet out of the theater and Dad now tries to repair what's left of a good idea gone bad. Putting the movie behind us, we go search out ice cream and then walk it off at Pioneer Park in Fairbanks. We talk, walk, joke, buy tickets for the annual Rubber Ducky Race that is a part of Golden Days. We end on a positive note. Now we see if there are any nightmares tonight.

I just remembered a similar experience I had with my father when I was 15 or so, only the movie in question was "Montenegro". All I recall from that failed father/son outing is a woman dancing around a remote control tank that has a "male member" mounted on the turret. I think that's when we left the theater. In fact, I'm pretty sure we left before the dance finished - I always wondered how it ended...probably not some woman scrapping the floor with her fingernails as she is being dragged into the dark.

Cleaning *House*

I'm cleaning out my digital image folder and found this. I still find it really humorous...

Ecstatic

I'm demobing tomorrow and will be going home. I happy, I tired, I excited, I'm brain dead. I Am Outa Here!!!

Happy Anniversary

Happy Anniversary, Sweetheart. I'm sorry I'm not home to celebrate, but I should be home sometime later this week - maybe Thursday.

I Love You.

Rude

I have been working with a female the last few days who has long hair. I'm talkin' about near-crack length. She has this annoying habit of flippin' it around with her hand to get it out of the way. That in and of itself is not bad, but the fact that it crosses that 12" threshold of personal space is maddening. If I was a connoisseur of the latest 'poo, I could tell you the vintage of what she washes her hair with (and when).

Get a freakin' haircut already, will ya? This is a fire camp, not a beauty salon.

In Other Words...

Looking for words ( and/or slang) that refer to the state of being naked:

nekked
naked, buck
naked, stark
bare butt
in the buff
birthday suit
stripped
emperor's new clothes (as in wearing...)
nude

Can you think of any others?

She Shoots, She Scores!

I'm home on two days of (paid!) R&R and was able to see MJ play soccer tonight. She did really well. The best part is that I got to see her make her very first goal. The fact that I flat out bribed her with money (10 bucks) was never the motivating factor.

The fact is, she was having problems when she approached the net. MJ would always stop and let someone else play it through or worse, let the other team take it away. I was a pretty happy Daddy when she was able to finally follow through with a goal. I'm hoping that she has learned a little more about herself tonight.

Check out these action shots...

MJ gets control...

...she dribbles past the other team...

...and scores!

Time For You To Go

I've been on this fire assignment just shy of 2 weeks. It's time to go home and practice some marital relations, because I'm really getting that itch!

Spam...Grrrr.

I received my first spam message today at my eweclectic account. An add to increase search engine hits on the address of this site. No thanks.

Not A Good Idea

I discovered today that zippers can be used to pull hair out. I knew this factoid of course, but the point was re-emphasized with the zipper in the fly of my pants.

Aaaah

It started raining last night when I went to bed. It was raining this morning when I woke up. Did you know that when in rains on a tent, a slight drizzle can sound like a thunderous downpour? Now you do.

*Cough*

I think I caught the Camp Crud.

Fire Maps

The Borough has a Wildland Fire Information page that lists fire items of interest. One of the items is a list of fire perimeters maps for the Boundary Fire. If you compare 07/01/2004 with 07/02/2004, you can see that the fire activity has subsided a bit and has not moved south much. It is currently hovering around in old tailing piles in the Chatanika area.

Saved by over-zealous gold-crazy miners of the early 20th Century.

There's no place like home...

I just realized that the Boundary Fire just north of Fairbanks, AK is approximately 20 miles due north from my residence. It's a little unsettling to think about, especially since I myself am on the Taylor Complex fire in Tok, AK and my family is at home. On the bright side, there is a big flat open wet area between the fire and home.

For current status, check out the AFS Situation Report.